It’s amazing how much a body can change after having one or two babies. A few things that have changed:
1). My hair is now curly. It’s always had wavy bits here and there, but never enough to wear it curly. I was forced to blow dry it straight every day or it didn’t look right. I love the new curly hair! It’s still straight on top, which I guess is weird, but I can live with it. It’s fun for now!
2). I didn’t lose all the weight with either pregnancy. With Phoebe I gained around 45 lbs. and lost all but about 10-15 of that. With Sophie I gained around 25 lbs. and lost all but about the last 10. So I’m 20-25 lbs. heavier than I was before pregnancy. When I was between pregnancies, I didn’t worry too much about the weight because I knew I would be having another one. Now that I’m not pregnant and not planning on ever being pregnant again, I feel that I should do something about it. Not only that, but I’m more self conscious of it. I definitely have the belly pouch that everyone warned me about before I had kids. I’m still trying to accept that it might never go away, no matter how much I may work at it. A few weeks ago I squeezed myself into all sorts of body shapers at Kohl’s to see if I could hide the belly. I ultimately decided that the discomfort was not enough for the level of concealment. I also decided that maybe I don’t look that bad. So I’m coming to terms with it. I also now know why there is such a thing as “mom jeans.” 😉
That being said, I do plan on focusing on my own health some more. I have high cholesterol, thanks to a family history. I want to try to get it under control with diet and exercise before going straight to medication. We have tried this route before we decided to start a family. My cholesterol went down beautifully when we were devoting 1.5 hours to the gym daily and I was on medication. We decided to try keeping it down with no medication, but at about the same time I stopped going to the gym. Naturally, my numbers went back up. But at that point we had decided to have a family. My doctor couldn’t medicate me at that point and told me to come back to him when we were done having our family. Now I’m still reluctant to go back on meds, but I know that I have to get the numbers down. I don’t know what those numbers are right now, but I’m sure it’s up there. I also realize that even if I watch my diet and exercise, I may still have to be medicated. I have to prepare myself for that outcome, as it is entirely likely.
I also realize that even if I lose all of the baby weight (my initial goal will be 10 lbs, with the ultimate maybe being 20), my body will probably never be the same shape again. I am actually ok with that too. I’m even ok with not losing all of the weight as long as I’m healthy. It’d be great to just tone up and gain some muscle. I’m actually ok with my new size as far as clothes go, but I’d love for them to fit a little bit better. The belly is probably my biggest body image sticking point right now, and I may have to face that it will always be with me. But we will see. Again, I have to try and see what I can do.
So today, I am tired (Sophie got up at 2:30 this morning) and a little head-achy, but I still plan to go to the gym this afternoon. I need to get on the road to a better, healthier me. I need to keep the excuses to a minimum. It won’t be easy, but hopefully the results will be more than worth it. Wish me luck!